Routine. Is this really what having a happy baby is all about? I’m interested to hear other mother’s perspectives. How soon do you need to start a bed time routine and how do you establish it if after you go through the routine they still aren’t sleeping and it’s another hour or two before they go to bed for real (after you feed them again and end up nursing them to sleep yet again?) Some articles I’ve been reading say this is the key to helping a baby self-soothe themselves to sleep, but is 2 months old too early to try this? In the past Adalyn has been really good at going to bed. At about 5 ½ weeks old she started to consistently fall asleep at 10 and sleep until about 5 or 6 in the morning. In the morning she would get up for a feeding at 8 and then sleep again till 9 or 10 in the morning. Just lately though she has been fighting sleep both for naps and at bedtime. We’ve let her cry for a while as there is obviously nothing wrong but the fact that she wants company and attention, but she never settles herself and usually it gets to be 11:30 or midnight by the time she sleeps. I’ve tried putting her to bed earlier (like 9:00) and she’ll sleep for about 15 min and then be wide awake again. It’s so hard to know what to do. The book ‘Baby Wise’ says never to put your kid to bed while they’re sleeping, but this is the only way it seems to work these days. Perhaps it's my new mothering skills once again causing me to be uptight and unsure. It also doesn't help that I'm not necessarily a person who does well with establishing routine. I was hoping some of you great experienced women could give me some good advice?
Sophia took longer than 2 months to establish a routine. Also, I wouldn't put too much stock in babywise. That book has a lot of junk in it that isn't true, and could potentially even be harmful for a baby. I just started reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Since I'm not a fan of letting my baby lay there and cry, I wanted a gentler way of sleep training. I've heard lots of good things about the book, so I'm hoping it will work for us. I will pray that Adalyn gets sleepy earlier in the evening!
ReplyDeletenot one to talk, but none of my kids were on a "routine" by 2 months. And Deklan still won't fall asleep very easily on his own. During the night we let him cry it out, but he is also older. But we still rock him to sleep (but it doesn't take long). If we don't he just plays and doesn't go to sleep. Don't stress about it! You will eventually want to get into a routine, but I wouldn't worry too much now. My kids just all of a sudden made a routine that seemed to work well for them and us.
ReplyDeleteTheir bedtimes can change so suddenly...that is normal. What I did to get them to fall asleep on their own was I let them cry for 10 min., went and picked them up and rocked them for a minute, put them down and let them cry for 10 min., rocked them for a minute, etc. It didn't take more than a day or two for them to catch on. Kiera was 3 months and Blake was 2 months when I did that. As far as going to bed at a good time, my friend made a bath before bed part of the bedtime routine and that was his cue that it was time to sleep. What I did was put them to bed gradually earlier every day, like 5 or 10 minutes earlier. I think they were older than 6 months, though. There isn't any way that works for every child, so I pray that God will give you wisdom and patience!
ReplyDeleteThanks all for your input. I realize there are a lot of different ideas and opinions on this subject, but just wanted to hear from others what worked for them... The last couple of nights have been going much better so praise God for that!
ReplyDeleteah Helen...sleep....one of the most stressful parts of having a new baby. For me, anyway. With Jaxon I used most parts of Babywise (which I think a lot of people tend to think is horrible because they have only heard about or read parts of it, but that's another discussion ;)...and with Jada I used mostly Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and I found both great, they are almost identical other than a few different ideas but the routine part is the same (eat/ wake/sleep rather than eat/sleep/wake). The major difference between the two is that the BAby Whisperer has an alternative method to crying...she doesn't believe in that. And basically, its - put the baby to bed awake (being observant of her cues and trying not to miss that "window" of time where she will fall asleep easily), and every time she cries you go in, soothe (not picking her up if possible) and leave as SOON as she's soothed. Go back in and do the same each time she cries (though I would wait at least 1 minute since sometimes it only lasts a couple seconds) and her theory is that eventually (and quite quickly) she will be able to fall asleep on her own.
ReplyDeleteone thought while I'm thinking of it is both books say that maybe she needs MORE sleep...putting her to bed earlier. I know you tried that, but maybe even earlier? I don't know...
If you do decide to let her cry it out, my advice would be:
1. Decide beforehand what you are going to do and how much time you are going to let pass before you go in, and DON'T give in...it's SOOOO HARD I know - I thought I was going to get ulcers...but if you've decided, don't give in, then all that crying beforehand will be for nothing, AND she will only fight it harder the next nap. Set a timer! Sometimes Jaxon would fall asleep at the last minute before I let myself go in...boy was I glad I didn't go in a minute earlier!
2. Try the "modified Ferber" method...that's what I did with Jaxon and it felt a lot less stressful because I had a plan. This is what you do:
- let her cry for 5 minutes...go in, quickly soothe (without picking her up if possible...try rubbing down with one finger from her forehead to her nose); leave
- let her cry 10 minutes, go in, do the same as above, leave.
- let her cry 15 minutes, and do same as above.
- 15 minutes apart after that but she should be sleeping.
3. Whatever you decide, stay consistent!!!
The one mistake I made was I got way to stressed about following Babywise to the tee. And it stressed me out. If you do decide to go with it, just do the best you can and don't stress if you don't do it perfectly. I eventually decided to just really stick with these things from the book:
- eat/wake/sleep cycle
- make sure he gets full feedings, which made him get himself onto a 3 hour cycle (other than growth spurts)
- put him to bed awake
- start the day at the same time each day (I chose 8am...this one was hard because it meant waking him up at times, which I really didn't want to do!!! But it worked.)
- as far as all the naps...I dont know that every baby is going to nap that many times a day...mine did at first - Jaxon not as long as what babywise said but Jada did great...personality has a part to play too I think.
A GREAT website that helped me with a lot of my questions was http://www.babywisemom.com/ If you scroll down on the RH side there is a whole list of topics. It was a great help for me.
Well I think this was a long enough post :) Hope things get better!! (they will!!!)
ps. I have thanked myself over and over again for having routine for my babies. Not only did it help THEM but it helped me know why they were crying when they cried and it made them happier babies and me a happier mama. I think it's equally beneficial for both the family and the baby. They need it!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your input Laura!! I value it and have tried implementing some of your ideas in the last week or two. Adalyn is getting the hang of it and I sure feel better having a bit of a system to go by. I'm still not on a strict schedule with her, but try to follow the same pattern and she's catching on. Yay!!
ReplyDeletep.s. I really appreciate all the detail you wrote even if it was a long post! haha It's easier for me to read then to go out and find the books. haha
ReplyDelete